Under The Knife 8/15/25

Take It Out, Coach, It's Overplayed, Today

Free Friday!

There are bad baseball songs. There are dumb baseball songs. Then there’s “Centerfield” by John Fogerty, a song that somehow manages to be both, while also infecting your brain like a case of stadium nacho food poisoning. It’s the platonic ideal of an earworm: three chords, a handful of cliches and a chorus that has burrowed into the DNA of every minor league DJ from Pawtucket to Peoria.

The problem is that it’s everywhere. Not just a lot - seriously, everywhere. Go to a ballpark and you’ll hear it before first pitch, in the third inning, and again when someone’s doing tarp duty in the rain. It’s on between innings at Little League games, in MLB highlight packages, in beer commercials, and probably looping in the waiting room at Cooperstown. You’ve heard it a thousand times, and if you plan to watch baseball at any point in the near future, you’ll hear it a thousand more.

Springsteen’s “Glory Days” gets flak for the “speedball” lyric, but that song at least has a heartbeat, a groove, and a knowing wink. Fogerty’s “Centerfield” is a royalty ATM that’s been spitting out cash for nearly 40 years. It’s nostalgia in the cheapest possible form - name a couple of legends, throw in a harmonica riff, and let the checks clear.

The checks have been clearing in a big way. Based on album sales, digital downloads, endless radio and stadium spins, and licensing fees, it’s reasonable to guess Fogerty’s made somewhere in the neighborhood of three to ten million dollars from “Centerfield” alone. Two million copies of the album, hundreds of thousands of downloads, and the fact that the song is still on a first-name basis with every stadium sound guy in America means it’s been a steady, decades-long windfall. The mailbox money from ASCAP every April must look like one of those “fat stacks” in a Wu Tang video.

But here’s the thing - that “Centerfield” haul might actually pale next to “Fortunate Son.” That song has been weaponized by every movie set in Vietnam, every political rally that thinks it’s about something else entirely, and every America-in-montage commercial of the last 30 years. With film licensing alone, Fogerty has probably made more from “It ain’t me” than “Put me in, coach.” The irony is that “Fortunate Son” still has an edge, a bite, and purpose. You can argue whether that purpose has been co-opted, but you can’t argue that it’s not a better song. “Centerfield” doesn’t have a purpose. It has a beat you can clap to and a line about “Tell Ty Cobb” that sounds like it was pronounced through a catcher’s mask.

[Actually, no. While editing this piece, a friend pointed out to me that Fogerty only regained his song rights in 2023 and even then not full ownership. Someone made a lot of money, if not Fogerty. I’m still blaming him.]

That’s the other issue and the one I take personal issue with is the lyric no one hears right. The song is loaded with easy-name checks. “Say Hey, Willie” is clear enough, “Joe DiMaggio” unmistakable, but right between them is a line that sounds like “Tellnikov.” Who? What? Maybe some unknown Soviet shortstop who defected in 1953. Whatever it is, it’s mumbled, compressed, and linguistically mangled in a way that’s baffled listeners since day one. What it’s supposed to be will surprise you, and I challenge you to think, because you know the song:

Oh perfect - Fogerty doesn’t even allow people to link to this! Suffice it to say that even on YouTube, his own damn captions don’t get the lyric right. The lyric is supposed to be “Tell Ty Cobb” and again, what?!

It’s one of those “Kiss This Guy” moments in rock history, a misheard lyric so perfect in its wrongness that your brain clings to it. Once you hear “Tellnikov,” you can’t unhear it. I’ve tested this on people - play that section cold, no setup, and ask them what Fogerty says. Nobody comes back with “Ty Cobb” unless they already knew it was supposed to be “Ty Cobb.” It’s like an aural magic trick, except instead of amazement, the reveal leaves you vaguely annoyed. By the way, Fogerty has multiple videos of him doing the song live and he does the same thing to that lyric!

That’s the thing that really irks me - this song is already irritating without the lyrical Russian spy subplot. Add in the fact that you will, against your will, find yourself humming it later and you begin to see why it belongs in a special category of music that should be stored in a lead-lined vault with a “Do Not Play at Sporting Events” warning label.

It’s an utter lyrical mess. I get it, he’s fitting names and phrases into a clap pattern. If Springsteen has to suffer for “speedball” — and go ahead, try to sing that section with “fastball” and you’ll get it — then Fogerty needs to answer for “I can be centerfield”. It fits the cadence, but there’s no little league kid or travel brat that’s uttered that phrase. You can’t gap it in with “shortstop” or stretch it to something like “I could be Gary Sheffield.” It’s wordplay like “I Am The Walrus” … might as well koo koo ka choo.

Honestly, I think you could run for office in this country on a platform of banning “Centerfield” from ballparks. “No more put-me-in-coach” could win swing states. It wouldn’t be political, just merciful. The only real problem? The moment the ban took effect, you’d start humming it anyway. Fogerty, whether it’s from “Centerfield” or “Fortunate Son”, would still get paid.

Hum the “A Team” theme to clear your head, then let’s get to the injuries:

JACOB MISIOROWSKI, SP MIL (bruised shin)

Even I am guilty of the nostalgia for the complete game. Even the “deep into the game” starter is going the way of the dodo it seems and … stop. Ask the naive question: If you didn’t know what a starter was, is that how you’d set up a baseball team? I guess the platonic ideal would be one guy who throws hard and never gets tired. The robot isn’t ready, people, so what if the answer is what it’s always been: one guy throws hard until he’s tired, then we bring in another guy.

Yes, it’s a bit frustrating to see Jacob Misiorowski come off the IL for his bruised shin and get limited even more than he did before the minor injury. We don’t know at publication time if he’s even making the start (but all indications are that he is.) But what if this is the way? What if I was right years ago and tandems should be the standard for most pitchers, while still allowing some to come out and become “solo starters” or some cute marketing name that reminds us of the past, when pitchers could do this without detaching their arms from their bodies?

The thing about baseball is that it chases success. It’s hard to argue that the Brewers are not successful, even with Misiorowski on the IL, with a team full of unknowns that scare Fox executives, and make Rob Manfred shudder in his sleep. Misiorowski could go to Nashville or Appleton, or anywhere in between and waste 30 or 40 pitches on minor leaguers. That doesn’t help the Brewers. Instead, he could go for those same pitches, get a long reliever behind him, and go from there. Given their success and their deeper-than-ever post-Woodruff return rotation (and how is he getting the results he is?!) Doing it on a short start with a box office draw on an all-time heater seems like precisely the way to maximize resources in the face of some scarcities and realities.

No matter how short Misiorowski goes or how long this win streak goes, the Brewers are going to have to try and figure out how to protect their young star’s arm. No one will argue that in 2025, the kid should go out there and try to be Nolan Ryan, Randy Johnson, or even Chris Sale. As with Paul Skenes and virtually every other young pitcher, there’s an innings scarcity. He’s already at a career high and an unknown number of starts yet which could go into late October the way things are going. I’m all for keeping him in a tandem and seeing if that helps keep his elbow scar free.

The shin? It’s fine. Don’t worry about it at all.

RONALD ACUNA, OF ATL (strained calf)
AUSTIN RILEY, 3B ATL (strained abdominal)

Context is everything. That’d be the t-shirt I sold now, if I sold t-shirts. For the Braves, when you hear about Austin Riley being held back a bit or Ronald Acuna getting ready to play but with a hard limit against steals and maybe just at DH, don’t think injury only. Think injury in context, which is what I try to give you here, while also hoping that you learn enough to not need spoon feeding.

For Riley, he’s still feeling discomfort while throwing. The key here is that throwing is a complex movement, but it should only tax the lower abdominals in certain positions and never a lot. It’s about stability, not force in most ways. You almost have to go through the motion to feel exactly how it works, but regardless, there’s no reason to rush Riley back and create not only a re-strain in the muscle as already happened, but to slow or cause a longer term issue while it heals. Think of a “weak spot” being created by scar tissue. That could lead to recurrent problems, reduced function, or even mobility stability issues. The context means, waiting more doesn’t cost anything and likely helps in the long term.

For Acuna, the same is true so for the team to be confident and bring him off the IL means more. The calf strain was never that serious, though the concern was. We’ve seen too many times that a calf strain in the wrong spot can lead to Achilles issues, even rupture, as with Kevin Durant or Tyrese Haliburton, and while neither of those is a baseball player, the body is the same, the forces can be similar, and Acuna’s injury history certainly raises “tissue issues.” A source tells me that while Acuna’s green light is going to be off, the team understands that he’s successful largely because of his instincts and talents and aren’t going to be able to keep him completely out of danger. They’re not taking risks they’re not confident in, but he is playing baseball. That said, do not be surprised to see him at DH in some rotation.

ADOLIS GARCIA, OF TEX (sprained ankle)
EVAN CARTER, OF TEX (back spasms)

One of the questions the Rangers had to answer at the deadline was “buyer or seller?” Most of the focus was on Adolis Garcia - could they deal him for a nice return or build around him? So far, the team has stumbled and more than that, Garcia sprained his ankle at some point, though he didn’t come out of the game. That’s not unheard of, nor is it to do something off the field. People slip in showers or trip at home all the time. Bruce Bochy admitted that part of the reason that Garcia’s going to the IL is his recent slump. “He can back off a bit” was presented as a positive of missing time, though Bochy also openly hinted this could be just a minimum stay.

In the meantime, Evan Carter comes off the IL after a very short rehab stint. Part of that length is that Garcia’s down and Carter’s the best available even if not a direct replacement. Talking to sources, it doesn’t feel like this was a rush. Two told me Carter didn’t really need it, but getting him some swings in didn’t hurt. The back is fine, for now, though everyone acknowledged that no one knows how well it will hold up or for how long. Wasting that on the minors doesn’t help the Rangers try to get back to October to roll the dice one more time and maybe see if Carter’s best time really is late in the month.

JAC CAGLIANONE, DH KCR (strained hamstring)

Jac Caglianone went 4 for 5 in his first rehab game, getting pulled late for a pinch runner, which was about the only nod to his recently healed hamstring. Not only that, he did it against Taj Bradley, who admittedly got knocked around as he adjusts to being a Twin and a Saint for now. Still, he’s a credible MLB starter, or has been in the recent past, not some minor league lifer who was having a bad night in Omaha. (Not that it’s a bad thing. John Gant, who got the win for Omaha, is pretty much the definition of that, pitching in the minors since 2011 and returning to Omaha and the affiliated minors for the first time since 2021!)

It got me thinking - always dangerous. Caglianone is as hot a prospect as we’ve seen on tools. He slammed through the minors after being drafted last summer, shifting positions, giving up pitching, and making his major league debut in a hurry. He didn’t perform to expectations and small sample flags waving wildly here, is he what we’d often call a “Quad-A player”? It’s often a pejorative, the guy who can’t make the leap to stay in the bigs but is enough to become a cult hero in El Paso. But should it be?

The majors and minors are filled with players who are great at one level, not so great at the next. Some stick and underperform expectations. Some bounce, showing just enough promise to keep getting chances or for some pro scout to dream on “we can fix him.” Caglianone seems too talented for that, but so have a lot of the players who do just that, sliding from memory so quickly as we move on to the next hot prospect we can dream on. For Caglianone, things look good with the hamstring and while there’s talk of DH only as the Royals continue to narrow his focus, the focus is entirely on his bat in the near-term.

ZACH EFLIN, SP BAL (inflamed spine)

Zach Eflin will have a lumbar microdiscectomy very low on his back but there’s consensus that he’ll be able to avoid a fusion or laminectomy. Things can always change on the table, but the plan is a narrow one and the surgery is fairly routine. That makes a comeback a bit easier or even a bit more possible if you want to go there. It also explains just why he was having so many issues - a bulging disc like this is really painful and can take away function. In the wrong place, it’s things like radiating pain, loss of strength, or even loss of bowel function, which comes way, way before pitching on Maslow’s scale.

While the quoted four to eight month recovery scale seems long, Eflin’s not going back to a desk job, so he’ll need full function and stability before he’s able to pitch. He’ll be 'activities of daily living’ recovered much more quickly and should be able to begin some of the foundational work quickly. He will have quite the downtime from throwing so if this goes on the longer end, he’d have no off-season work and might not begin throwing until March or April, which would obviously throw off the start of 2026 for him.

As a free agent to be, it will be interesting to see where Eflin falls. He could be an interesting cheap one-year lottery ticket for a team that’s a little light on pitching and there’s certainly upside. Back surgeries aren’t quite as predictable as Tommy John, but by the time he signs, a team could have pretty good confidence in when a return would happen and a one year deal at market is near zero risk for most teams. I wouldn’t be surprised if he made a return to Tampa or if a team like Toronto makes him next year’s version of Max Scherzer.

Quick Cuts:

Aaron Nola (ankle/rib) returns to the Phillies rotation on Sunday and I’m told he will have no set pitch limit in place. The team will go with a six man at least one time through as they decide how to go forward, but also to buy some rest for the middle of their bullpen … Not a good night for Roki Sasaki (shoulder) in his first rehab start. Aside from an injury, it’s hard to imagine how it could have gone much worse … In a stunner if you’ve read this column, the Rockies are admitting Kris Bryant (back) won’t return this year. They could have stopped two words earlier … Paul Goldschmidt has been playing through a low grade knee sprain, per the Yankees, though no clarity on which ligament or how it happened as yet. The IL is likely … Michael King (shoulder) came off the IL for the Padres, barely lasted two innings and is back on the IL with a knee issue … Tyler O’Neill isn’t making the progress the Orioles had hoped with his wrist issue and could remain out another few weeks … Oneil Cruz goes to the 7-day concussion IL after his collision in the field. There’s never any timing on concussions, but there’s already some positive signs. Cruz has been slumping recently as well, so the break may help … Miguel Amaya came back from an oblique and two days later, sprained his ankle. The Cubs will adjust behind the plate again, as they’re reconfiguring their pitching … Sweeper King Nolan McLean will come up for the Mets, taking Frankie Montas’ rotation slot as the team looks at all options … The Twins failed to find a buyer for the franchise and instead will take on some limited partners. They didn’t detail who was involved, but expect private equity to be some percentage. A league source tells me this is not a “minority to majority” deal as constructed like other deals in place at Chicago, Cleveland, and the NFL’s Raiders.